Enough Sadness! Now it is time for a change – It is time for adopting Fun. So here are world’s best funny quotes to be shared and get yourself and anothers laugh!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Putting the laughter back into manslaughter.
When shooting a mime, don’t use a silencer or his friends will hear you.
Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they’re wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.
A little necrophilia never killed anyone.
Dyslexics Of The World Untie.
You know you have a small apartment when Coco Pops echo.
Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” – Will Rogers
“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” – José Maria de Eça de Queiroz
“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” – Unknown
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Brian Gerald O’Driscoll
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” – Oscar Wilde
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln (paraphrase from the Bible, ‘Proverbs’ 17:28)
“The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.” – Unknown
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
I went too a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered french toast during the renaissance.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.
If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson’s No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?
Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Filed under: Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes, Hilarious, Laugh